I was talking to a momma today that has stuff. I have stuff. We are about as opposite in personality, upbringing, marriage, raising kids that two women can be. What we do share is a crunchy, green momma, birthing baby philosophy and so we have know each other from the fringe for eep… probably a decade. A few months ago I reached out and said I needed help. I wanted a group that was opposite to me in personality to give me better insight into what I was struggling with. SURPRISE… so did she. We talk weekly. It’s planed. Nothing budges it. It’s been a few months now. It’s nice.
Today we talked about the word Hustle. I know this word. It’s been my life. But when does the word start to strip the soul from you as a woman? It’s when your hustle gets compared to other women’s hustle and then you beat yourself up for not reaching your goals in the millisecond you gave yourself to do it.
There is an interesting study I read about recently that asked people to figure the time it would take to accomplish something… what the study found out is that for most of us, if we gave the time we thought it would take to accomplish a goal and then doubled it, we would still be wrong. So think about that for a moment when you are juggling your day, your kids, your home, your job, your hobby, your partner. However much time you THINK you need double it and you will still be short.
Here is what we decided to do. Read Eat that From From Brian Tracey. I’ve read it, but its time to read it again. Learn the tricks to getting massive amounts of stuff done every day. Then make a calendar of every waking moment 7 days a week, put in drive time, appointments, jobs, kid time, school, laundry time, sleep time, hobby time, sexy time. PUT IT ALL ON THE PAGE.
Then take a step back and have an aha moment as you realize exactly how little time you have to do ALL The things you keep saying yes to… and then look in the eyes of the super important people you say no to. Then write down EVERYTHING you hate to do that is taking your time from the things you love.. see how you can eliminate it. It may just mean learning how to say the word NO. For me it was cooking and grocery shopping ENTER Nourish Foods. They deliver my week’s meals on Sunday. You know what? It’s cheaper than Whole Foods and heckfire better than what I was making.
Whatever it is make a plan for how it can go away, minimize, or be traded out with a friend, Look for ways you can bring JOY back into your daily schedule. And if you have a huge goal your working on now you are REALLY going to see where the gaps are in your schedule that you can put in extra work. Then don’t forget to triple the time you think it’s gonna take to hit that goal… maybe you’ll nail the time it took.
and here is my final word of advice for the mommas out there. If you could eliminate the nasty self-talk, the anger for not being perfect, the shame of maybe not really liking every single part of motherhood, you would free up so much more of your brain which would allow you to create joy, happiness, love for yourself. In that, you will see magical transformations in your family. There is only one you. Hug yourself, high five yourselves, and then look around at everyone in bed and say today everyone survived, I must be a badass. Go on to bed ready to conquer another day!